Honestly... I don´t know. My theory of the case is that if someone is banging me or about to be banging me I´m an interested party, otherwise: good luck and hope it goes well for you. I didn't resent the guy who married the ex- after we split up - I didn't know him, he didn't do anything to me, she was his problem at that point and Mazel Tov! I'd expect I'd feel the same way about a friend dating someone I was around (honestly: has never happened to me). The only issue would be if the ex- person talked a lot of trash about me (although the trash-talking that really pisses me off are the lies). I am not that kind of jealous.
(As for being friends with ex-s. Most of them disappeared and I never heard from them again. Or even saw them. It´s easy to disappear into a city the size of Dallas. With the ex, given all the crap that she had pulled on me, I didn´t bother. She came back of her own accord, mostly, I suspect, to gloat. Later, she disappeared again. But who knows. I find the whole range of behavior around this very weird - I only want to date people I am friends with.)
¨There will be two parts of the story sliding into your emails next week.¨
It'll get here when you´re ready. No hurry, really. That can be really tough stuff to tossing to the sharks.
Gee never had the inclination to introduce former dates to friends or to date their former dates. Closest I cameis being with a girl that had been with a friend previously but did know it until ... both me and my friendwere taking about are one night stands and it dawn on us we were taking about the same girl. But not dating. Maybe I am old school
What name would you come up. Re-dating... sort like re-gifting. Of course there are other terms not so polite that guys use...like "sloppy seconds" I am sure ladies have even less flattering names
By naming I guess I mean for each of us to acknowledge that it’s more likely to happen, than not. I don’t use terms like sloppy seconds or re gifting. One is degrading and the other implies ownership. Instead I try to think of things from a place of no attachment while actively wanting the people around me to find and experience love and celebrating it for them. Because then I’m still in a state of love; not jealousy, holding on to, disconnection, discourse etc.
Ah see... an acknowledgement doesnt require a label... i agree with your analyst.. Maybe its a gender thing too. Guys...at least the ones i know dont play match maker at all... its every man for himself. It could also be an age thing. I run with a much older crowd than you.
Your point about an ex talking poorly about you- this is where we hope people will practice boundaries and privacy. You would assume you need not ask for it, but I would offer people communicate that from the beginning. What happens between us, stays between us. I ask that of the people I date from the beginning and hope it lasts til the end regardless of our outcome.
Honestly... I don´t know. My theory of the case is that if someone is banging me or about to be banging me I´m an interested party, otherwise: good luck and hope it goes well for you. I didn't resent the guy who married the ex- after we split up - I didn't know him, he didn't do anything to me, she was his problem at that point and Mazel Tov! I'd expect I'd feel the same way about a friend dating someone I was around (honestly: has never happened to me). The only issue would be if the ex- person talked a lot of trash about me (although the trash-talking that really pisses me off are the lies). I am not that kind of jealous.
(As for being friends with ex-s. Most of them disappeared and I never heard from them again. Or even saw them. It´s easy to disappear into a city the size of Dallas. With the ex, given all the crap that she had pulled on me, I didn´t bother. She came back of her own accord, mostly, I suspect, to gloat. Later, she disappeared again. But who knows. I find the whole range of behavior around this very weird - I only want to date people I am friends with.)
¨There will be two parts of the story sliding into your emails next week.¨
It'll get here when you´re ready. No hurry, really. That can be really tough stuff to tossing to the sharks.
elm
everybody should chill
Gee never had the inclination to introduce former dates to friends or to date their former dates. Closest I cameis being with a girl that had been with a friend previously but did know it until ... both me and my friendwere taking about are one night stands and it dawn on us we were taking about the same girl. But not dating. Maybe I am old school
I believe this to be so common that me may as well name it.
What name would you come up. Re-dating... sort like re-gifting. Of course there are other terms not so polite that guys use...like "sloppy seconds" I am sure ladies have even less flattering names
By naming I guess I mean for each of us to acknowledge that it’s more likely to happen, than not. I don’t use terms like sloppy seconds or re gifting. One is degrading and the other implies ownership. Instead I try to think of things from a place of no attachment while actively wanting the people around me to find and experience love and celebrating it for them. Because then I’m still in a state of love; not jealousy, holding on to, disconnection, discourse etc.
Ah see... an acknowledgement doesnt require a label... i agree with your analyst.. Maybe its a gender thing too. Guys...at least the ones i know dont play match maker at all... its every man for himself. It could also be an age thing. I run with a much older crowd than you.
Your point about an ex talking poorly about you- this is where we hope people will practice boundaries and privacy. You would assume you need not ask for it, but I would offer people communicate that from the beginning. What happens between us, stays between us. I ask that of the people I date from the beginning and hope it lasts til the end regardless of our outcome.