Body Before Business: Getting on Your Own Nerves in a Touched-Out World

The obvious advice is to spend less time online. But let's be honest: going offline isn't realistic for everyone. And even IRL relationships can trigger the same emotional disturbances.

Nov 17, 2024

I was searching the google last week to see if I could find out who the source was that said, “The clit has over 8000 nerve endings; if you're going to get one on one of mine, get on one of those.” I was unable to find a name, but I did come across a report informing the public that they- another unattributed source- were mistaken; the human clitoris has over 10,000 nerve endings, whereas a cow's clitoris has over 8000. Moooooove over y'all.

The medical researchers or scientists, another unattributed source, had researched a cow's clit, declared it had over 8000 nerve endings, and called it a day.

Am I the only one who finds it ironic that these guys couldn't finish the job on clitorial research?

I mean, the nerve!

Speaking of nerves, I struck a major one this week with someone on Substack. While much of the world grappled with election results, I decided to stay in my lane and promote meditation + masturbation. Not to be cute (though capturing attention is kind of the point online) but to remind people to self-regulate when flooded with cortisol, adrenaline, and other stress hormones.

We were having fun until one woman commented 'TRASH' on my post. A post encouraging women to share how many orgasms they had that day. IDK. Something about that kind of post going viral in the face of all the other insanity flooding our feeds struck me as a bit radical.

I thought, 'This is why people struggle to be online.' But instead of taking a deep breath and practicing 'restraint of tongue and pen,' my higher self hopped in the backseat, and I reposted her comment.

That was a big mistake on my part. HUGE!

In less than a minute, the name calling began and my nervous system lit up like a Christmas tree. I deleted, blocked, and took a breath. Thus, another day online. I could have just commented, 'Different strokes for different folks,' or ignored it altogether. I know better.

What I can't figure out is how my content continues to reach those who would label my sex positivity as me being a 'whore'; it's beyond my understanding of algorithms. What I can say is that I personally have finally become desensitized to being called a 'whore'.

Lately, I've noticed—and heard from others—that sharing online is less about thoughtfully exchanging ideas and more about navigating landmines. Will this offend someone? Will I get blasted? Canceled?

And for those who aren't posting, scrolling is just as exhausting. We're mentally bombarded with images and ideas we don't want to see, didn't ask for, and aren't even sure are true—or worse, believe to be true.

It's as if our human brain, designed to scan for danger and assess its surroundings every six seconds (yes, six seconds!) for safety, now faces an endless barrage of fear and stress 24/7—all at the touch of a screen.

Many are on edge. Some are tipping over into full-blown survival mode.

We often use the term touched out to describe mothers or caregivers who feel so overwhelmed by constant physical touch that one more attempt at connection feels unbearable.

But now, I'd argue, we are a society touched out from our touch screens.

This overstimulation is hijacking our emotional and energetic states. We're shutting down, burning out, or living in a constant fight-or-flight state—and it's not okay.

The obvious advice is to spend less time online. But let's be honest: going offline isn't realistic for everyone. And even IRL relationships can trigger the same emotional disturbances. The solution isn't simply logging off; it's about self-regulation and putting your Body before Business.

It's about knowing you have choice.

When your body feels regulated and balanced, your nervous system has the opportunity to reset. Instead of operating in a constant state of alarm, your body begins to recover, making it possible to respond to stress with clarity instead of reacting in survival mode.

But here's the catch: regulation doesn't happen automatically. It doesn't just show up because we need it to. It's cultivated by how we manage our thoughts, what we focus on, and the choices we make to anchor ourselves amidst chaos.

This is why managing your thoughts isn't just a feel-good mantra—it's a survival skill in midlife.

We’ve never needed to be in our bodies more than we do now in today's information overload.

Our thoughts about what is going on or going to happen— and everything in between— matter. They shape our emotional reality, which in turn influences our physiological state.

We must actively call out our narratives that keep us in survival mode. It's about reclaiming your sense of calm and control—not by ignoring what's happening around you but by creating a foundation within yourself to handle it.

To unf*ck the stress and keep ourselves grounded, we need to get out of our minds and into our bodies. When we focus on regulating our nervous system and setting the tone for the day, we create the stability needed to handle the mental and emotional load that life brings. Practices like morning routines, mindful breathing, pleasure practices and movement aren't just about self-care but building resilience. When we lead with our bodies, we give ourselves the strength to face whatever comes next with clarity and control.

This is where "Body Before Business" comes in. You want to get on your nerves before entering the day.

Get That Morning Light

First, Get outside or near a window and soak up some natural light. Let it hit your skin and eyes (no sunglasses yet). This signals to your body that it's time to wake up and releases your cortisol on schedule, setting you up for better energy all day.

Hydrate and Fuel Up

While you're out there enjoying the sun, sip a big glass of water with a pinch of sea salt or electrolytes to rehydrate after sleep.

Then, eat a protein-packed meal within an hour of waking. This keeps blood sugar and cortisol steady, so you're not hangry by 10 a.m.

Move Your Body

Stretch it out with some gentle yoga moves like cat-cows or forward folds. Feeling spicy? Dance!

Breathe (Like You Mean It)

Practice Box Breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Do this for a few minutes to shift your nervous system into calm mode.

Or focus on slow, deep belly breaths. Inhale like you're inflating a balloon in your stomach, and exhale like you're gently letting the air out.

Get Your Head Straight (AKA Journaling)

Take 5-10 minutes to write down your thoughts. Ask yourself:

What's actually true right now?

What story am I telling myself about it?

What's a better way to look at this?

Journaling helps clear the mental clutter so you can start fresh, not carrying yesterday's drama into today.

Create a Transition Ritual

Before diving into the day, set the tone. Light a candle, play some music, or diffuse energizing essential oils. *These actions trigger the brain's sensory pathways, promoting relaxation and a sense of calm, and have been shown to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which reduces stress and encourages safety*

Midday Reset: When the Day Starts Getting to You

Pause and Breathe

Step away from the screens and take a few minutes for 5-7-8. Breathing: Inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. It's like hitting the reset button for your nervous system.

Shake It Out

Stand up and shake out your hands, arms, and legs. Stress builds up in your body, and a quick shake can help release it. DANCE

Get Outside

Spend 5 minutes outside. Feel the ground beneath your feet, breathe in the air, or look at the sky. Bonus: More natural light to keep your energy up.

Check-in With Yourself (More Journaling)

Take a moment to ask:

What's actually working right now?

What can I let go of for the rest of the day?

How can I make the next few hours easier?

Writing it down gives you perspective and helps you refocus on what really matters.

Refuel and Rehydrate

Grab a snack to stabilize your energy—nuts, fruit with almond butter, or a boiled egg. And don’t forget to drink more water!

The reality is, people are going to get on our nerves, we’re going to feel stressed, and we’ll probably find ourselves in full-on overwhelm at times. We’re human, and the world around us is wild. But if we can learn to get on our own nerves—in a productive way, and maybe even a pleasurable one—we just might strike the balance we need to stay in our lane.