Yes, I Had an Affair. No, That’s Not the Most Interesting Part

Cyberbullying, midlife tenderness, and the surprising gift of being called a parasite w-h-o-r-e online.

Good Evening Friend,

This email might get lost in the Super Bowl buzz. Honestly, I have it on too—not because I’m into football, or Taylor Swift—but because the sound of it is comforting.

And apparently, it is a good game. Tied in the 4th. Three minutes left.

Tension.

Literal nail-biter, if the shots of Taylor in the suite say anything.

Last week, I had my own version of that tension—except it wasn’t fun. Someone, likely with multiple Instagram accounts, started leaving harassing comments on my reels.

They called me cringey, too old, a parasite w-h-o-r-e. Said I left my ex with nothing. Accused me of having an affair (which I’ve talked about openly) and claimed I just love hearing myself talk.

That last one? Fair. I do love hearing myself. Especially now that I finally have something to say.

But when their second comment referenced my former partner by a nickname only a few people use, something shifted. It felt... closer. Too close.

By the third comment, my nervous system hit full alert. I went from regulated, to hyper-activated, to shut down in minutes. Sitting in my writing chair with my laptop on my lap and my phone in hand, I felt myself start to power down.

Hypo-state.
This is the danger zone for me—the part where I check out, where a nap starts sounding like the answer to everything. Too tense to stay in the game.

I closed my laptop, sat still, and began to repeat:

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

Last month, a business mentor asked me how I handle problems. What’s your process?

I surprised myself with the answer—and how nervous I was to say it out loud:

I hand them over to my Higher Power.

Because I’ve learned: I can’t trust my brain as CEO.
And my company motto?

Don’t take the first think.

If you’ve followed my work or podcast, you know the drill:
Observe your reaction.
Choose your response.

The truth? Their words didn’t hurt me.
I’ve spoken about my past, my affair, my mistakes. I know my relationship with my co-parent. I know my truth.
But the comments did hit something deeper.

Something tender.
Something I hadn’t yet faced.
Something I’m still operating from.

And for that—I’m grateful.
To the commenter.
To my Higher Power.
For showing me what still needs healing.

On this week’s episode of Wait, What?
— Monica Lewinsky & cyberbullying
— Aging bodies and letting go
— Clean pain vs. dirty drama
— And the art of staying present when all you want to do is disappear

Speaking of tense—THAT GAME.
For a minute, I thought Taylor Swift might throw up.

Honestly? I get it.

Talk to you Tuesday.
Love,
ash