It's beyond stifling in ways I'm only beginning to grasp. As a "creative" person, I've found it inspiring but also equally discouraging. It feels like a bad habit that needs to be broken.
I believe it can be very inspiring as well. Unfortunately I can’t deny that my brain was more distracted by it all, taking je out of my creative pursuits. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be able to approach it differently!!
We are so on the same page about ig. It feeds this very unreal validation that becomes a dopamine drug. I was really hoping that gen z would have said “fuck this shit” and that we would revert back to old school ways of writing letters and valuing privacy. Not so much.
I was just journaling about the toxic superficial need for ig but it’s so conflicting with being an entrepreneur.
Feel you, my friend on all of the above. I had to be really honest with myself about how well social media was working for my business. At the end of the day, it was working my mind in over time, taking me away from my work and creating a lot of unnecessary emotions. The results and engagement became the focal point, measuring stick and overall grind of my work. And it has nothing to do with my work. My plan is to trust in what has always worked; create great results with my clients and columns, allow for word of mouth and my H.P. to attract those who need it, and enjoy the quiet in between. AKA, not burnout working my ass off trying to get everyones attention to it.
“I’m witnessing my life with my phone in my hand. Everywhere I look. Phones in hands. In cars. On runs. On benches. In restaurants.”
It gets eerily meta when you’re at a concert and get frustrated that all these people holding their phones up are preventing you from taking that really great picture of the band--with your phone.
Relate to all that you say here. And am confident you will stay relevant and have more meaningful impact on your clients and community for this change.
"I’m selling to you, like it’s selling to me; we are the products no matter which way you slice it."
Yessssssssssssssss. I was sharing this sentiment with my therapist the other day, talking about Substack actually. And how draining it is to market our work on Instagram (or TikTok or Twitter/X or whatever social media platform you get down on). She was like, well then, why don't you spend that time just connecting with people one-on-one, who are interested in the same stuff you are? Go read their work, go talk to them, go trade ideas, do it like that? It sounds like you're in the same process too. Good job capturing this set of feelings, and making a choice to do things differently.
I relate to the numbed out feeling. I have thought about this A LOT and honestly it’s not just Instagram/ Twitter and the infinite scroll for me. It could be anything on the internet available as distraction, escape... but I notice I reach for it more during times of stress. So in that sense it has become a way for me to check in on myself (but not really fix anything... haha).
I feel that there is redeeming value for me online and on social (connection, inspiration, personal journaling aspect, sharing writing), but it is getting harder and harder to justify the cost of the time and wellbeing sacrificed.
We are all in it! The phone in general is THE problem, to be sure. Even without Instagram, my impulse to reach for my phone is at an alarming rate. Working on monitoring and minimizing it. After this column went out last week, a reader sent me The Hidden Brain Podcast. There are two episodes speaking to our dopamine /reward centers getting lit up leading us to addiction. Psychiatrist Anna Lembke said, "the smartphone is essentially the equivalent of the hypodermic syringe delivering digital dopamine 24/7 for our wired generation, and that's really what it is." You can find this episode The Paradox of Pleasure here https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/the-paradox-of-pleasure/ The Path to Enough is the follow up :)
¨I’m witnessing my life with my phone in my hand. Everywhere I look. Phones in hands. In cars. On runs. On benches. In restaurants.¨
I´m half-in, half-out here. I have two tablets and a computer and a cell. But I basically never use the cell, certainly not when I am out. Tuesday night was a particularly bad night for ´people staring at their phones while barely missing running into things at the grocery story´. Stoned cow energy.
¨It feels all too serious. Where did the fun go? ¨
You were a content producer in Zuckerberg´s app mines. Can´t have fun if you´re working all the time.
¨Dammit. I don’t feel like anyone ever taught me that! How am I supposed to be a writer when I don’t even know how sentences are structured and what the things are all called??!! ¨
They didn´t teach me much about articles in school, merely what they were called. Maybe you missed that day.
¨I have the desire to speak French.¨
¿Senorita, usted quiere hablar frances? D´accord ! Super ! Est-ce que vous utilisez la Duolingo ?
¨Looking for future volunteers!¨
Bonjour, mademoiselle . Enchantée ! Je m´appelle Eric . Ça va?
Bonjour 🎵coucou🎶 ! Pas probleme, m´lle . 💜 Ouais pour vous ! (Yay carries over more-or-less as ouais. Wow lives under the assumed name of ´waouh´.) Ce n´est pas plus facile mais worth it. Puis vous peux finalement melangé anglais et French in the same sentence. Which is probably annoying, but you know.
Oh man, do i get it! I DIDN'T have a cell phone for about 12yrs, just a home phone and desktop pc for interwebs. People would look at me like i was crazy when i would tell them i had no smartphone (and would only be interested in a not-smartphone if i had to have a cell at all.) And I used to make fun of people like my family who spent literally 45 mins AFTER the actual gender reveal moment at the baby shower picking up the confetti off of the ground to get the "perfect" pic to post to social media. The absurdity of it all, how connected to their phones everyone is.
Fast forward a few years....The pc died in the middle of planning a CA/Disneyland trip and as this was just barely the wind-down period at the end of the pandemic w/ too many kids (my 3, plus 3 more), so
1. Momma seriously needed to get everyone out of the house and would not accept a broken pc as a barrier to that, and
2. Disney was still trying to be as contactless as possible, ie: need to download your tickets, mobile app ordering and such...understandably so
So fucking Disney wore us down and my husband and i decided smartphones might be the best option instead of a desktop harddrive.
Anyway, the amount of attention this thing in my pocket wants from me does seem endless, so i turned off almost all notifications, but that didn't stop my brain from also reaching for this sexy little computer to satisfy lots of needs or wants. Recipes, songs, interesting articles to read all at your fingertips.....long story, short(ish) my kids tell me i am that person who's always on their phone...and they're probably right.
Disney be damned!!! Haahaaa the smart phone and internet are both great tool and provide much efficiency to our every day lives. And as you’ve already noted, it’s almost impossible to not have one. Knowing that the people behind social media and much of what’s being offered online is designed to get you hooked. Make no mistake. Is the knowing enough? Not for me! My brain is also now programmed to ‘check’ for messages and always have my phone incase the messages come in. Always around ‘if my kids need me’ ‘what if a client’ ‘there could be an emergency’.... a prison of my own making now that feeds perfectly into their design. Working on all that one thought at a time.
It's beyond stifling in ways I'm only beginning to grasp. As a "creative" person, I've found it inspiring but also equally discouraging. It feels like a bad habit that needs to be broken.
I believe it can be very inspiring as well. Unfortunately I can’t deny that my brain was more distracted by it all, taking je out of my creative pursuits. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be able to approach it differently!!
We are so on the same page about ig. It feeds this very unreal validation that becomes a dopamine drug. I was really hoping that gen z would have said “fuck this shit” and that we would revert back to old school ways of writing letters and valuing privacy. Not so much.
I was just journaling about the toxic superficial need for ig but it’s so conflicting with being an entrepreneur.
Feel you, my friend on all of the above. I had to be really honest with myself about how well social media was working for my business. At the end of the day, it was working my mind in over time, taking me away from my work and creating a lot of unnecessary emotions. The results and engagement became the focal point, measuring stick and overall grind of my work. And it has nothing to do with my work. My plan is to trust in what has always worked; create great results with my clients and columns, allow for word of mouth and my H.P. to attract those who need it, and enjoy the quiet in between. AKA, not burnout working my ass off trying to get everyones attention to it.
“I’m witnessing my life with my phone in my hand. Everywhere I look. Phones in hands. In cars. On runs. On benches. In restaurants.”
It gets eerily meta when you’re at a concert and get frustrated that all these people holding their phones up are preventing you from taking that really great picture of the band--with your phone.
Relate to all that you say here. And am confident you will stay relevant and have more meaningful impact on your clients and community for this change.
Thank you Rachel!! You being here reinforces that those who are meant to be here will continue the journey with me on my path ❤️
I feel this post so hard, Ashley. And this line:
"I’m selling to you, like it’s selling to me; we are the products no matter which way you slice it."
Yessssssssssssssss. I was sharing this sentiment with my therapist the other day, talking about Substack actually. And how draining it is to market our work on Instagram (or TikTok or Twitter/X or whatever social media platform you get down on). She was like, well then, why don't you spend that time just connecting with people one-on-one, who are interested in the same stuff you are? Go read their work, go talk to them, go trade ideas, do it like that? It sounds like you're in the same process too. Good job capturing this set of feelings, and making a choice to do things differently.
Happy this resonates with you!! Just one question; want to get together IRL? 🥹
Yes:))
The new "I don't have a TV". Ooooooh
I relate to the numbed out feeling. I have thought about this A LOT and honestly it’s not just Instagram/ Twitter and the infinite scroll for me. It could be anything on the internet available as distraction, escape... but I notice I reach for it more during times of stress. So in that sense it has become a way for me to check in on myself (but not really fix anything... haha).
I feel that there is redeeming value for me online and on social (connection, inspiration, personal journaling aspect, sharing writing), but it is getting harder and harder to justify the cost of the time and wellbeing sacrificed.
We are all in it! The phone in general is THE problem, to be sure. Even without Instagram, my impulse to reach for my phone is at an alarming rate. Working on monitoring and minimizing it. After this column went out last week, a reader sent me The Hidden Brain Podcast. There are two episodes speaking to our dopamine /reward centers getting lit up leading us to addiction. Psychiatrist Anna Lembke said, "the smartphone is essentially the equivalent of the hypodermic syringe delivering digital dopamine 24/7 for our wired generation, and that's really what it is." You can find this episode The Paradox of Pleasure here https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/the-paradox-of-pleasure/ The Path to Enough is the follow up :)
¨I’m witnessing my life with my phone in my hand. Everywhere I look. Phones in hands. In cars. On runs. On benches. In restaurants.¨
I´m half-in, half-out here. I have two tablets and a computer and a cell. But I basically never use the cell, certainly not when I am out. Tuesday night was a particularly bad night for ´people staring at their phones while barely missing running into things at the grocery story´. Stoned cow energy.
¨It feels all too serious. Where did the fun go? ¨
You were a content producer in Zuckerberg´s app mines. Can´t have fun if you´re working all the time.
¨Dammit. I don’t feel like anyone ever taught me that! How am I supposed to be a writer when I don’t even know how sentences are structured and what the things are all called??!! ¨
They didn´t teach me much about articles in school, merely what they were called. Maybe you missed that day.
¨I have the desire to speak French.¨
¿Senorita, usted quiere hablar frances? D´accord ! Super ! Est-ce que vous utilisez la Duolingo ?
¨Looking for future volunteers!¨
Bonjour, mademoiselle . Enchantée ! Je m´appelle Eric . Ça va?
elm
ça va bien ici
Coucou 👋 Merci Beaucoup for your responses to my jouissannce 🫶 AND I was able to interpret your French! Oui for Moi!
Bonjour 🎵coucou🎶 ! Pas probleme, m´lle . 💜 Ouais pour vous ! (Yay carries over more-or-less as ouais. Wow lives under the assumed name of ´waouh´.) Ce n´est pas plus facile mais worth it. Puis vous peux finalement melangé anglais et French in the same sentence. Which is probably annoying, but you know.
elm
sophisti-cat
Oh man, do i get it! I DIDN'T have a cell phone for about 12yrs, just a home phone and desktop pc for interwebs. People would look at me like i was crazy when i would tell them i had no smartphone (and would only be interested in a not-smartphone if i had to have a cell at all.) And I used to make fun of people like my family who spent literally 45 mins AFTER the actual gender reveal moment at the baby shower picking up the confetti off of the ground to get the "perfect" pic to post to social media. The absurdity of it all, how connected to their phones everyone is.
Fast forward a few years....The pc died in the middle of planning a CA/Disneyland trip and as this was just barely the wind-down period at the end of the pandemic w/ too many kids (my 3, plus 3 more), so
1. Momma seriously needed to get everyone out of the house and would not accept a broken pc as a barrier to that, and
2. Disney was still trying to be as contactless as possible, ie: need to download your tickets, mobile app ordering and such...understandably so
So fucking Disney wore us down and my husband and i decided smartphones might be the best option instead of a desktop harddrive.
Anyway, the amount of attention this thing in my pocket wants from me does seem endless, so i turned off almost all notifications, but that didn't stop my brain from also reaching for this sexy little computer to satisfy lots of needs or wants. Recipes, songs, interesting articles to read all at your fingertips.....long story, short(ish) my kids tell me i am that person who's always on their phone...and they're probably right.
Disney be damned!!! Haahaaa the smart phone and internet are both great tool and provide much efficiency to our every day lives. And as you’ve already noted, it’s almost impossible to not have one. Knowing that the people behind social media and much of what’s being offered online is designed to get you hooked. Make no mistake. Is the knowing enough? Not for me! My brain is also now programmed to ‘check’ for messages and always have my phone incase the messages come in. Always around ‘if my kids need me’ ‘what if a client’ ‘there could be an emergency’.... a prison of my own making now that feeds perfectly into their design. Working on all that one thought at a time.
You got that right, the grip is so powerful always tugging at your subconscience...