Highway to Hell: Understanding the Difference Between Perimenopause and Menopause

Think of perimenopause as puberty’s alter ego, where your hormones decide to throw a wild party in your late 30s or 40s. Only the party favors are mood swings, anxiety, and sleepless nights

Entering midlife can be a challenging journey, especially for women facing the often confusing and chaotic hormonal changes of perimenopause. Starting as early as your late 30s, this transition can last up to 12 years, affecting everything from your mood to your physical well-being. Understanding the signs of perimenopause and knowing how to manage these changes can make all the difference on this bumpy road.

Entering midlife, regardless of gender, can feel like navigating a bumpy road if you’re unaware of the changes happening in your body. For women, these changes often begin in your late 30s, as hormonal shifts start making their presence known. Despite living in one of the most medically advanced countries, many women are left in the dark about their own bodies. We learn the basics—puberty, childbirth, and a bit about menopause—but what we’re taught about menopause is often misleading. The truth? Perimenopause is the real “highway to hell,” but you don’t have to endure hell to reach a better place.

Let’s Unf*ck It 👇

Perimenopause vs. Menopause: What You Need to Know

Perimenopause:
Perimenopause is the hormonal rollercoaster that kicks off the whole "pause" party. It’s the transition phase leading up to menopause and can last anywhere from 7 to 12 years. Think of it as puberty’s alter ego, where your hormones decide to throw a wild party in your late 30s or 40s. You might feel like you’re losing your mind—hello, mood swings, anxiety, and sleepless nights—but really, your body is gearing up for the grand finale: menopause.

So bascially a hangover from hell until….

Menopause:
Menopause is the one-day event that occurs when you’ve gone a full year without a period. Yep, just one day. It’s the moment your body officially says, "We’re done here," and your menstrual cycle checks out for good. But don’t be fooled—this day is just a milestone that marks the end of perimenopause and the beginning of postmenopause. It’s like crossing the finish line of a marathon you didn’t even know you were running.

If you’re in your late 30s or early 40s and feel like you’re not yourself, you might be wondering:

• Why is my anxiety peaking?

• Why am I feeling rage and anger over things that never used to bother me?

• Why am I so exhausted?

• Why can’t I remember anything?

• Why does stress feel overwhelming?

• Why can’t I sleep?

• Why can’t I stop sweating?

• Why am I getting massive headaches?

Now’s the time to revisit the H in HALT: Am I hungry? Maybe. Am I HORMONAL? Most likely!

You’re likely entering perimenopause, which can feel like a mental and emotional mindf*ck if you’re unaware of what’s happening.

I’ve been listening to The Upgrade” by Louann Brizendine, and I felt a huge sense of relief when she shared a client’s experience of feeling like a horse at the races—fired up but unsure of what direction to go. On the days when I have energy to work, I often lack focus and direction, and my memory can be a mess. Learning that this is a normal side effect has prevented me from spiraling into feeling f*cked.

I want to encourage you to start tracking your cycles (or your moods, energy levels, sex drive, cravings, etc.), seeking information, and talking with other women about your experiences. Start now, not only to understand what’s happening in your body but to unf*ck all the false information we’ve been taught about women aging in our society.

That's So Mid #3: The Power of Pause

Thankfully, more doctors and practitioners are addressing perimenopause and menopause, offering the hope that wasn’t as readily available before. If you’re experiencing any of the symptoms mentioned, reach out to a functional medicine doctor. Discuss your hormones, examine your nutrition and workouts, and work with what’s happening in your body. Don’t “raw dog” it, as one of my friends described her experience. After years of not understanding what was happening to her body and feeling insane due to lack of sleep she consulted a hormone specialist and found out she was at the tail end of perimenopause. She started hormone therapy, weight lifting three times a week, and changed her diet. She says she’s never felt better and hasn’t lost a night’s sleep in over a year.

Something I’ve noticed among my clients—and myself—is that when we fear or dread something, we try to avoid it or pretend it’s not happening. But I want to empower you to embrace all the midlife transitions and hormonal changes.

Unfcking Midlife hormonally means taking control of the hormonal upheavals that come with midlife—like perimenopause and menopause—so they don’t control you. It’s about understanding and addressing the root causes of hormonal imbalances, rather than just suffering through the symptoms.

You know what they say: All roads lead to Rome. The choice is yours on how you want to get there.

I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences with perimenopause—what’s been your biggest challenge or surprise? Drop a comment below and let’s start a conversation!

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