Ash, Why do men like lingerie?
did you ever hear the story about that guy in the 80's who took out an ad for a woman willing to go live on a deserted island with him? lingerie lesson learned...
Foxes!Â
In this weeks video Iâm answering âwhy do men like lingerie?â and sharing a very interesting story I once heard about a guy who took an ad out for a woman who would be willing to live on a deserted island with him. Youâll notice I use the word allegedly in the video more than once, but I can site my source on the rest. Anyway, it answers our subscribers question.
And of course Iâm dishing the latest in my life; my relationship with exes and how they are non-existent with the exception of one. In all fairness, one is dead⊠and well, I was a monster to my second husband so Iâm dead to him. Frankly the rest are not allowed and should not be allowed to talk to me. WE WERENâT FRIENDS!
The exception is my former partner. We have forged a solid relationship. So solid in fact that people write in, stop me in stores (Iâm serious) or call to ask,Â
How did/do you do it? Only after they ask and start to backtrack from,
Do you guys, ever, you know⊠uhhhh, have sssss -
No. We donât.Â
I donât go into how we are able to do it in this video, but I do reveal one of our secrets. What weâve gotten REALLY good at.Â
If youâre unfamiliar with our story, you can read about it here.Â
Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my momâs passing. Iâll be writing about it in my next column. I couldnât help but go back into my journals, notes and columns to see what I had written in those days, weeks and months following the news.
Uuufff. I was down bad.
Letâs call it a case of the Morbs. This essay, death and taxes, captures a small glimpse. Iâm grateful to say there is contrast today. There is more than light, and acceptance. There is relief. And there is finally a sense of being able to move on with my life in a way that never seemed possible.Â
Speaking of readingâŠÂ
I devoured and continue to re-read Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliot and want to encourage all of you to order yourself a copy of her book. Itâs a different approach to self healing than what youâre used to. Rather than focusing on all the positive and light, she takes you through your shadows and dark side.Â
I learned that the fact that we human beings have a major habit of taking unconscious pleasure in âbad stuffâ in our lives was well-known to founding giants of psychology like Freud, Jung, and Lacan. Â Freud called it âpsychic masochism,â Jung recognized it as âthe Shadow,â and Lacan called it jouissance.
All of these psychologists recognized that a major component of helping people involves getting them to acknowledge and âownâ this kind of weird underlying desire for and pleasure in stuff that they ostensibly hate and feel very frustrated by. Â
Did I mention I watchedâŠÂ
The Beastie Boys Story ? I had no knowing of their quick fall from a fast rise of fame after Licensed to Ill was released; how they found and redefined what being musicians looked like for them; and what success looked like.
I was reminded that if you love what you do, continue to pursue and work on your skills even when the masses arenât interested, create the art you want- and on your terms, you will attract your audience.Â
And have a really good time doing so.Â
I also made and ate thisâŠ.
Coconut Curry Squash Soup and you should to now that the weather is doing what it does in the fall. (I used a butternut squash)
Below is THE video on why the guys like lingerie (obvs, this goes for my girlies and gender non conforming peeps, too!) plus the aforementioned goss on whatâs going on with AshâŠÂ
What have you been reading, watching and/or eating? Or grieving?! Letâs discuss in the comments đŠ
xx