Ashely, you knocked it out of the park with this one! Not having a drink isn't necessarily the hardest part - that comes after, when we have to see and feel and learn to show up fully for ourselves. I love how you have so clearly set out what is happening and what needs to be explored.
Such a good read here. Thank you for going there, Ashley.
I particularly love how you make the distinction that life asks us to be alive in it. Erotic. Awake.
To be perfectly honest, not drinking isn’t hard for me at all anymore. But the staying awake to life still sometimes is. That pattern runs deep. Persistent even when wine is far in the rear view mirror.
My experience has been that removing alcohol isn’t deliverance to an awakened life but I never would have known living that way is an option if I kept drinking.
Thank, lady! And I wholeheartedly agree with and love how you said it, “not drinking isn’t hard for me at all anymore. But the staying awake to life still sometimes is”
The depth of which we are asked to feel sometimes is frankly, in my opinion, rude 🤪
Do you ever find that, just when you overcome one pattern, another is there waiting?
Yup! I call it the spiral staircase. I feel like I'm making "progress" and then a pattern I thought I shed comes right back in, poking at me. The thing is - it feels like we are spiraling out but that staircase is still taking us up.
You are 100% right that it can be with social media or food. Add to the list shopping, sex, Netflix. The key is noticing when you're in a state of discomfort what you gravitate towards. If it's breath, mindfulness, movement, sound and energy we're on the right track ❤️
oooo i love this post! it is totally about aliveness! and alllll the ways we might self medicate (wine is top choice for most women) to keep the high going OR to numb what we don't want to change, like a shitty marriage or job. jus sayin
It's not a coincidence that wine has become the top choice for women considering the alcohol industry has been marketing/targeting it as a form of self care and status for 40 years. The social conditioning is insane AND as noted in my post Buzz Kill, causing more women to die from alcohol related deaths than ever before.
This is so spot-on ... the drinking isn’t the problem, it’s the signal. Wine becomes a proxy for presence, aliveness, and permission we’ve been withholding from ourselves. What you’re describing isn’t just sobriety work; it’s reclaiming the vitality, curiosity, and embodied engagement that alcohol has been masking.
Ashely, you knocked it out of the park with this one! Not having a drink isn't necessarily the hardest part - that comes after, when we have to see and feel and learn to show up fully for ourselves. I love how you have so clearly set out what is happening and what needs to be explored.
Thank you so much. And YES - the showing up for ourselves part is where it gets real. That’s the work that actually changes everything.
Such a good read here. Thank you for going there, Ashley.
I particularly love how you make the distinction that life asks us to be alive in it. Erotic. Awake.
To be perfectly honest, not drinking isn’t hard for me at all anymore. But the staying awake to life still sometimes is. That pattern runs deep. Persistent even when wine is far in the rear view mirror.
My experience has been that removing alcohol isn’t deliverance to an awakened life but I never would have known living that way is an option if I kept drinking.
Thank, lady! And I wholeheartedly agree with and love how you said it, “not drinking isn’t hard for me at all anymore. But the staying awake to life still sometimes is”
The depth of which we are asked to feel sometimes is frankly, in my opinion, rude 🤪
Do you ever find that, just when you overcome one pattern, another is there waiting?
Yup! I call it the spiral staircase. I feel like I'm making "progress" and then a pattern I thought I shed comes right back in, poking at me. The thing is - it feels like we are spiraling out but that staircase is still taking us up.
Rude! Yes. LOL
Tis is so true. It can also be with social media or food. I calmed the madness with food. I calmed the truth with food...
You are 100% right that it can be with social media or food. Add to the list shopping, sex, Netflix. The key is noticing when you're in a state of discomfort what you gravitate towards. If it's breath, mindfulness, movement, sound and energy we're on the right track ❤️
oooo i love this post! it is totally about aliveness! and alllll the ways we might self medicate (wine is top choice for most women) to keep the high going OR to numb what we don't want to change, like a shitty marriage or job. jus sayin
Thank you, Tracy!
It's not a coincidence that wine has become the top choice for women considering the alcohol industry has been marketing/targeting it as a form of self care and status for 40 years. The social conditioning is insane AND as noted in my post Buzz Kill, causing more women to die from alcohol related deaths than ever before.
This is so spot-on ... the drinking isn’t the problem, it’s the signal. Wine becomes a proxy for presence, aliveness, and permission we’ve been withholding from ourselves. What you’re describing isn’t just sobriety work; it’s reclaiming the vitality, curiosity, and embodied engagement that alcohol has been masking.