Unfucking Business: It Was Never About ‘No Risk, No Reward’—It’s About Resilience

I was so focused on the idea of success, the romanticized side of entrepreneurship, that I didn't learn to value the struggle itself. The obstacles weren't setbacks—they were the journey.

This piece traces my evolution from someone who'd “rather die than endure” hard things to someone who understands that real entrepreneurship isn’t about ‘no risks, no rewards’ —it’s about staying in it, day after day. After ten years running a lingerie business, I’ve come to see that resilience—not dramatic leaps—is what keeps things alive.

For subscribers only: What I learned from my “business autopsy,” how I shifted from quitting to fighting, and the mindset that could’ve changed everything. Includes reflection prompts to help you spot where you might be letting go too soon.

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Do you ever ask yourself what you would do if you were, like some individuals, put in a situation where you had to fight for your life? Like the guy trapped under a tractor who cut off his own limb or the one lost at sea clinging to driftwood while sharks circled—when I hear stories of the human spirit pushed to the extreme, my response has always been the same: I'd rather die than endure that —my will to live just isn't that strong.

It's a shit attitude to have. First, the chances are, you won't be put to the test to fight for it on that level, so why not act a bit braggadocious and make up some shit about what you would do. Second and sadly true, it was a testament to me in general. It's no wonder no one chose me to be on their dodgeball team. I stood there begging anyone to throw the ball at me and take me out already, not put me on their team. And I only have to look back to see when faced with the daily adversities that came at me, I was more likely to dip out, quit, and give in before the fight was over.

Back then, I Didn't Have the Fight in Me

I recently sat down with Spencer Coursen on Coursen's Corner for one of the most honest conversations I've had publicly.

We talked about the messy middle of Midlife—grief, addiction, parenting through loss, sobriety, starting over, and what it really means to unfuck your life after everything falls apart. The episode is raw, honest, and full of lessons I learned hard.

During the conversation, he asked me, "When did you know you were a writer?"

I paused because I never considered myself a writer, per se. I started dropping (long-form) thoughts on Instagram and Facebook posts—just stream-of-consciousness thoughts about work, parenting, or whatever was coming up for me—and people would comment on my writing, but I didn't think much of it.

It became clear that my 'stream of consciousness' resonated with others.

At some point, a friend said, "You know that's a writing style, right?"

I didn't.

Eight years ago I posted a blog called The Unsexy Side of Entrepreneurship. I received more texts, DMs, and comments than I ever expected. People connected with my struggle as a business owner and how I let them into the behind-the-scenes mess.

I hadn't looked at this blog in, I don't know, how many years, and I decided it might be interesting to see how it fares today.

First Discovery: I may have referenced the wrong blog. I had written two within that year. 1) The Unsexy Side of Entrepreneurship and 2) When No Risk, No Reward Feels Like the Beginning of the End.

Second Discovery: I was way into changing fonts, not capitalizing words (which a celebrity writer who I will not name was shamed for last week), and not fully forming my thoughts or paragraphs. (Hence my knee-jerk reaction—I'm not a writer!)

Third Discovery: My will to fight while out at sea, trapped under a tractor or whatever analogy resonates with you, was nowhere to be found. I was done, and I knew it.

Reading My Own Obituary

Reading “The Unsexy Side of Entrepreneurship” today feels like reading my own business obituary—the writing was on the wall; I just couldn’t see it at the time.

Back then, I wrote:

"Entrepreneur, along with Disruptor, Founder, GirlBoss, Influencer, Self Made, and so on, are hot words in our culture today and impossible to avoid. In today's work culture we are seeing lifestyle bloggers, concept brands and the individuals behind them reach a broader audience than ever before, monetize and gain celebrity status success.

It's incredible.

Unless you don't find yourself or your brand making these waves.

Then it's incredibly difficult."

I was already preparing for my exit without even realizing it. I had created a narrative where success was binary—you're either making waves or drowning. There was no middle ground where you could simply swim, stroke after stroke, even when the shore wasn't in sight.

Nine months before, I had written another blog titled "When No Risk, No Reward Feels Like the Beginning of the End." The title itself foreshadowed what was coming:

"I have a history of intuitive decision-making fueled by a no-risk, no-reward attitude. This way of living was prevalent in my 20's and early 30's.

A one-way ticket to Hawaii at 19 years old? Why not.

Work for yourself while raising your babies at home? Only seems natural.

Life takes a devastating turn and it's time to get tickets to a city you've never seen? Hello Austin!

Materialize your concept in a city where you know no one? Let's do this."

I was still clinging to the romantic idea of the bold entrepreneur who leaps without looking, but the cracks in that facade were already showing. I ended that post questioning myself:

"It has crossed my mind that I might be pushing so hard to make Teddies for Bettys happen that I'm blind to the reality that it's not. But there was this familiar voice that couldn't be silenced. No Risk, No Reward, right?"