That's So Mid #2
Hot Heat, Hormones & Kids Who Come Back Home + the album you didn't know you needed to dance to, a couple of midlife relatable reads and a cookie recipe that I wish I didn't know
Dropping in with a journal like entry on this mid summer eve in the mid of my life that begins mid thought to give you some much needed rec’s and advice for your not so mid life ❤️
I prematurely mourned the end of an era of parenting when, in May of this year, both my kids officially began living out of state. It seemed so major. Different states marked a transition of them ‘moving on’; the beginning of their lives, that would involve less of mine. And though that is still true, my daughter arrived home for the entire summer from college last month. My son called to say he’d be staying here for the month of October. Probably leaving for the winter. Not sure what’s up after that….
Just when you think you might have retired, you find yourself in an interim position for the unforeseen future. So, now I’m mourning the time I thought I had to myself, but lost because I was mourning the end of the era and time that actually never came to be.
Parenting; forever the ultimate mind-fuck?
"Raising kids is like playing a game of whack-a-mole, except the moles are always popping up and you never get to win." – Unknown
Anyway. I do find myself very blessed that I get this time with my kids. That we are as close as we are. I don’t get the drift that this generation is as eager as mine was to get out and on our own. My move out date could not come quick enough. And because it was taking so long, and I perceived my conditions to be insufferable, at 17 I took it upon myself to leave, aka runaway, get emancipated and move in with my friends family. It appears most kids these days are not only not running away from their parents, but extending their stays 😂
I can’t relate in the slightest.
🎧 What I can relate to is Gen Z’r, Billie Eilish and her album Hit Me Hard And Soft. L’Amour De Ma Vie has some sweet 80’s dance vibes that should not be missed
At the end of May, when my boyfriend and I had our ‘biggest fight to date’ I had it on repeat for 72 hours.
📖 I was also reading Demon CopperHead by Barbara Kingsolver. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it!
🫖I wrote about the book AND our ‘first fight’ in a column called For The Love of Books and Boyfriends. Obviously, I can’t recommend this enough 😜
For the love of books and boyfriends
I finished Demon Copperhead last night. The book was given to me in November. I picked it up sometime in December. During the last six months I’ve put this particular book down only to pick up other reads that I would blow through in a week. More; A Memoir of Open Marriage
👏 Speaking of reads that distracted me from Demon… “How Come Your Face Looks So Old?” from
Entering Midlife; Definitely a Mind F*ck!
MidLife Movement & Hormones; The changes I’m making based off the weather and my hormones (shifting with the seasons)
Summers in Austin, Texas are basically like winters for me. I’m more apt to stay inside and hide away from the sun. Exceptions being made for activities like plunging into Barton Springs or going to the movies. Not only does the heat make me moodier and more tired than usual, the disruption in my schedule takes it to another level. In the past it has been acknowledged that I get bitchier the longer summer lasts.
Which sucks not only for those around me, but for me, too. This year I’ve decided to accommodate for it. How nice, right? I’m not forcing myself to be outside to workout. In fact, just the opposite. I’m embracing this time as my ‘off season’. I’m taking more indoor weight training classes. (Best Butt Ever, anyone??!!) Mid morning walks are allowed. After sunset walks, too. Yoga. Started to swim a bit. What I’m not doing is forcing myself to run a minimum amount of miles each week.
I am recognizing that if I push too much in this heat, I energetically deplete myself. This is partly hormonal and motivated me to start tracking my menstrual cycle data so I could cycle sync my workouts.
This has been slightly more trickier for me. I had an ablation done in 2022 and no longer bleed, but continue to experience everything that would come with my period. I’m also in peri-menopause. I’m working with some hormones to help balance things out.
Needless to say, there is a time of the month that I should embrace resting and stretching. And there is a time of the month where I can push and exert. I’m also pretty sure I’ve entered a time where rest is my top priority.
Having clarity of when, accepting the external conditions combined with my internal ones, and leaning into the cyclical seasons IS helping me in midlife.
I’m not mentally fighting with myself that I ‘should be’ or ‘could be’ doing more and if this heat wasn’t as hot, my life ‘would be’. And there is less vaguness!!
Are you tracking your moods and hormones?
I’m also paying close attention to my stress levels, eating the right foods, not drinking alcohol and practice a daily devotional that includes prayer and meditation.
Body. Mind. Soul.
🍪 Okay, and speaking of summer being my winter and hormones. Last week things got a little out of control and I HAD to make cookies. I’ll tell you a little secret… on the back of the Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate Chip bag is a cookie recipe that is a major home run. You don’t even have to bake them. The dough is delicious.
THAT SAID. I remembered being at this party years ago and there was this chocolate chip cookie, but it wasn’t just any cookie. It was a shortbread style. I racked my brain for less than two seconds when I remembered it was created by
who is here on SubstackThe recipe was originally paywalled behind the NYTimes Recipe App (which I have, use and love) but guess what, Dear Reader?
Not only is she on Substack, but her Shortbread Chocolate Chunk Cookie is available here
Things to know 👇
the dough needs to chill for at least two hours prior to baking.
it doesn’t taste nearly as good as regular cookie dough
you need SALTED Butter (I made the mistake of using unsalted and the cookies were a little crumbly)
everyone will love them regardless.
shortbread style from Alison Roman 
Nestle Tollhouse- added salt sprinkles and walnuts Would love to hear about your summer experience, hot rec’s, hormonal inspo, or must try recipes in the comments ❤️
Ash, thank you for sharing my work!! 🥹 I also really appreciate having a friend whose kids are a few years older than mine so I can get a little prepared for what’s on the horizon! 🙏🏻
As always, I am intrigued and a little awed by the self-awareness and candor of your post. Tracking your body, your energy levels, even the moments when transcendence seems near at hand -- these are very different from how I approach life. My orientation is always outwards, sampling politics and culture and plate tectonics all at once. One of the reasons, I think, that our get-togethers are always so rewarding and enriching (for me at least).
Keep on keeping on, Ash!