Apr 11 • 29M

Ep 4 Crazy Stupid Love

It's one thing to be attracted to someone... it's something else when you experience chemistry

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Appears in this episode

Ashley Kelsch
Get ready to navigate the high’s and low’s of modern dating, sex and relationships. Each week I dive into your brain on dating, real life circumstances and how to overcome them. Lose yourself in the moment, not the (hu)man.
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The Sex is Great by Ashley Kelsch is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

It’s no secret that I’ve been actively dating. I’m on an app, that I’ve been terrible about checking since I met one person, but then again, I do treat instagram as a dating app and met someone on there, I’ve been meeting people out to go on dates, having the conversations when I don’t see things progressing, staying open to those who I do find an attraction to while being honest about my intentions; I’m just looking to have fun.

This has all been a very empowering positive experience this time around. Until recently… I had one of those experiences that I would refer to as RARE. I had one of those visceral chemical, pheromone-like- primitive body reactions to another person. The whole thing has caught me off guard.

It’s not the usual, this person is fun and attractive and sexy and the sex is great…

It’s this thing my stomach; summersaults when I think about them; when I get a text and my face grins in a way that reminds me I need botox because it’s stretching far and wide; the real tell all? Nothing can solve for how turned on I feel except them. Not even my vibrator. I need this person to be in the room breathing next to me. Talking. Touching Me.

I’ll be the first to say, I have entered very dangerous terrain. I know that. I see exactly what is happening.

I’m under the influence. I mean, I don’t know this person and yet, I’m making plans in my mind to do the ‘normal stuff’.

It makes me think about someone I dated and neither of us was in a place to make it serious. After me, he met someone. He and I laugh about the shit he has done to be with her. Major life changes! I’m been like dude… come on. You can choose love, get your head straight… but today I’m like dude… I totally get it.


Babes, we can not turn our lives upside down. I had to glean some advice on how to manage my mind and emotions so I dug into the archives for ‘CRAZY STUPID LOVE’.

I listened to it earlier today and found myself quite proud that I’ve been using technical terms like dickmatized and cunstruck since at least May of 2021 when this episode originally aired.

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I’m also proud to hear me dive into the hard wiring of your brain- the reason you have this drive and feel the way you do. You’ll be pleased to find some prescriptive advice that you can use. I know I will be!

It’s spring y’all. Sex is in the air. We need to keep it together… I mean, don’t get me wrong; have the sex, follow the feelings, but don’t lose yourself or your mind.

Tune in and turn on to Crazy Stupid Love…

Today we are talking about your brain, emotions, and love. And I’m not just talking about any kind of love, I’m talking that kind of love that makes you feel crazy and out of sorts, and no longer recognize yourself. That love that makes you crazy just thinking about them, that every love song ever written was about you, where you can’t begin to imagine how you could possibly ever live without them.

There’s a collective belief that love is out of our control, that we can’t choose who we find ourselves attracted to and it’s happening to us. But it is possible to have a deeply passionate love without feeling powerless and crazy. You can learn to acknowledge what is happening and dial it down.

Join me this week as I’m exploring why we need to question our emotions and showing you how to become empowered by learning what’s going on in your brain. By knowing what’s going on chemically, you can manage the process even if just a little bit, and learn to lose yourself in the moments – not the human.

What You Will Discover:

  • Why we get obsessive and euphoric over love.

  • How to stop feeling consumed when dating.

  • Why your emotions are not hardwired.

  • How to be mindful of what’s going on in your brain when you feel crazy.

  • Why pain doesn’t have to be devastating.

Resources Mentioned:

Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie Angier

The Sex is Great by Ashley Kelsch is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.