Unfucking Midlife

Unfucking Midlife

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Unfucking Midlife
Unfucking Midlife
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Eat Pray Hide

I was out to dinner with friends when I felt my crown come loose and fall out. As if that wasn't awkward enough, a man I'd harbored a crush on for years approached and offered me a ride.

Ashley Kelsch's avatar
Ashley Kelsch
May 26, 2023
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Unfucking Midlife
Unfucking Midlife
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There was a time during middle school when I desperately longed for braces. Not because I was insecure about my teeth being crooked, but because I loved any summer camp scene in a movie that showed two kids making out and their braces getting locked together. It was, probably still is, my kind of attachment style; literally attached to my crush with nothing else to do but make out.  

This childhood fantasy, no less awkward than puberty itself, surfaced one afternoon at the dentist’s office. Stretched out in the chair and gazing at my dentist and her assistant, I started to explain that I was out having dinner with friends when my crown fell off.

As if that wasn’t awkward enough, I ended up getting approached by a guy that I had harbored a crush on for years moments after it happened.

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