August Edition of Rec's + Vlog
Welcome to the August Edition of 3 Rec’s- from content I’m consuming to sex objects I’m using to recipes I find soothing + a vlog of me sharing an experience I had with my orthodontist. Consider this one of my instagram stories, but on steroids. I didn’t have to leave anything out, could take me time to fully explain AND still not get food in my mouth while talking.
💦 Anyway, let’s get to the juicy-juice 💦
#justAsh Recommends
📚 Eleven Minutes by Paulo Cohelo From the very first pages of Eleven Minutes, where we are placed in the mind and life of a young girl who first experiences a crush, her reaction to what feels like the betrayal of it. The inner dialogue and how she handles herself is so well written, and like my own. I had to question how a man could know a girl/woman’s most inner thoughts and feelings.
As she matures, and has other experiences, her innocence of being inexperienced and the internalized embarrassment of all it combined, leads this young women to discover both her own self love and pleasure, while dissociating from others and the idea of true love.
The result of her findings on love and pain lead her to choose the path of a sex worker -wherein she discovers the experience from start to finish is, you guessed it, ELEVEN MINUTES. One day, she is confronted with the possibility of true love and a man who loves and accepts all parts of her.
She must decide not only if she believes, but if she is willing to surrender to it.
👉 Disclosure: This contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you.
👍 The Barbie Movie Who would I be if I didn’t comment on pop cultures current pop hit? Yes, I laughed. Yes, I cried. Yes, I cried-laughing over Ryan Gosling and all the Kens dancing. I felt seen when all the Ken’s serenaded all the Barbies with their guitars. I felt emotionally moved when Barbie was given a glimpse of what life looked outside of Barbie World and in reality.
But what really GOT ME!!! good and bad and good and ….
I had the fortunate luck to get to attend the movie with my 19 year old in Brooklyn. We dressed the part with Faith in a bubble gum pink dress and, well me in a deep red jumpsuit. So maybe not fully the part, but I decided Barbies mom need not steal the show from Barbie.
*Spoiler Alerts*
To be able to sit next to my child, where we could both watch an angsty teen who is ‘over’ their mom, and the moms struggle to be okay with their child’s natural need and desire for independence, but longs for the days of closeness, was, as the kids say, ‘no…so real’.
To be reminded as a mother, that our children will reach a place of (and say the words)
I knooooow mom,
please stop mom!
Ugh, not in front of my friends mom
MOM! why are you saying/doing that?!
and that it’s not personal, but a shared collective experience, while simultaneously sitting next to your child, feeling the rupture in your body, wondering if they see just a hint of themselves in that young character 🤯
Or if, upon hearing the words that ‘we mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they have come’, will cause your child to pause and consider the sacrifice that is motherhood?
It hit…
eerrrr, Slapped?
Resonated.
After the movie was over, Faith and I stood outside and I held her while she cried. We both acknowledged there wasn’t another person we would have wanted to see the movie with. Franky, I would have regretted seeing it with anyone else.
I believe it’s worth mentioning that my child, weeks away from 20 isn’t displaying that behavior in the same way now, but that shit was SO REAL during their high school years and both my kids broke me!
2. The flip side for me…. Barbies being a representation to girls that you could grow up to be anything, or become anyone, was absolutely lost on me as a child. That Barbie went to the moon before a ‘real woman’ did as a way to inspire little girls all over that they could too? Those messages did not land.
My Barbies greatest feats and adventures included capturing my brothers G.I Joe’s and shacking up; scissoring and lying stiffly next to each other, playing house and making babies; cutting all their hair off (at age five I became obsessed with Annie Lennox and attribute that as inspo) and drawing on their bodies; living in apartments and lofts made from shelves and cubbies while, breaking up, making up then making out.
Oh, The fights!
Oh, the kissing!
Oh, the DRAMA!
By todays standards, I would say my Barbies were living out some very toxic, unhealthy, unethical relational patterns.
Not shocking that this was my Barbie World considering all things.
I never conceptualized, let alone considered that Barbie was about female empowerment until the marketing and history of ‘how and why Barbie’ started flooding my feed over the last few months.
In my defense, I haven’t thought much about Barbie in decades.
It has been another ‘Wait. What?’ moment for yours truly.
I knew Barbie was for pretending, but to dream up something beyond playing house? SLEEP ALONE??!!! I’m not saying my Barbie wasn’t bank rolling and speeding like a demon in her pink convertible, but she was NOT alone.
Not even close.
Not for lack of imagination, but the patriarchal world culture messages were far too loud for me to get that message.
I didn’t arrive to Self Aware/Realized Barbie until my late thirties/forties!
Better late than never.
Speaking of, the monologue done by America Ferrera fell very flat for me. I don’t believe I’m jaded at my age,
but we have heard it and…..
AND?!
?????
That said, I do plan on watching it again.
🍳 🥑 Good Thanks NYC
Did you know your tongue has thousands of nerve endings that can be stimulated? That it’s considered an erogenous zone? That research has been done and suggests this boneless muscle is considered stronger than your average muscle? That it won’t atrophy- never needs to Quit!
Can just.
Keep.
Going!
It’s also a sensory in-taker making taste and eating a very delicious activity. Which is why eating can be considered erotic. Whereas, not all foods might be considered erotic, the avocado toast from Good Thanks IS, in my opinion.
Normally, Avo toast is a fairly simple recipe that I make at home and for that reason alone, will rarely consider ordering it when out. I’m not sure how or why I ended up ordering it when I was there last year. Doesn’t matter. The point is this; it’s an explosion of flavor sensation!
Burnt citrus salt. Pickled beets. Zaatar. Cucumbers. Feta. Lemon. Sour dough toast…
The way the flavors build off each other with each bite is making my mouth water right now. I plan on recreating the recipe and yes, will share it with you because I want everyone to experience this sensation in their mouth.
After all, I’m a humanitarian at heart ❤️
(Its also worth mentioning their banana bread with salted whipped butter is a must)
Let me know in comments if you have read, watched or tasted the above and what your thoughts are. If you have an avo-toast that I need to try, don’t hold out!
Here’s a snippet from the full video. I once found a note on my car about my parking. You’ll never believe what it said.
For the Sex is Great
Supporting Subscribers…
the full Vlog!
🎬 Below you will find an 8 minute video recording of me sharing an amusing conversation with my orthodontist about my work and the impression I seem to give off. This is definitely not the first time I’ve heard this perspective so I wanted to clear the air ;)
🤦♀️ Y’all, I do get embarrassed. Just not about dating and sex.
👩👧👦 My kids growing up with me doing the work I do, and having the voice I have doesn’t mean I share my personal intimate life with them or that they are interested in hearing about it. I speak more on this + pro parenting tip for kids who may want to be nosy and know what you’re hiding!
🙋♀️ I suck at parking.
🧟♀️ Oh… and I’m definitely not an influencer.