An Amateur

I was in my office at Teddies for Bettys one afternoon with a lingerie rep previewing the next season's collections of bras and panties when she asked me, have you seen the video of Colin Farrell and his girlfriend, Nicole Narin having sex? 

What are you talking about? Colin Farrell is doing porn? I said flatly while feeling the cup of the bra meet the wire. 

No, she said. It’s a home video of them having sex. 

It’s online? 

Yah. 

Wait, What? How’d that happen? I asked.

It’s 2016 Ashley. It got leaked! You have to see it. See him… 

I put the bra down and swiveled my chair towards the computer. Up until this point in my life I wasn’t much into Porn. The few times in my adult life it had been suggested or turned on I found myself immediately turned off. The intensity of pounding and close ups. Sex centric. Loud. No water on the bathroom mirror or socks on the floor to identify with. 

I hit play and watched on as Nicole (if it’s okay I’m going to call them by their first names) is standing there naked, trying to find something to play on tv. A white cat saunters through, arches its back and begins rubbing against her leg. Nicole squats down to flick through the channels. Colin belligerently compliments her while he lays on the couch, stroking himself and filming it all. 

If I recall, I was no longer intrigued but consumed. I couldn’t stop watching. I felt… pacified…